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Coffee! Coffee! (I Kant get enough of it!)

Coffee! Coffee! (I Kant get enough of it!)

I don’t know what it is about coffee that makes its drinkers look smarter than they are. In that way, they’re similar to a pair of glasses. So put on those funky pair of glasses, shove your laptop in your backpack and head to your local coffee shop.

Order a flat white, settle into your seat and open your laptop. Start reading xkcd even if you studied arts and have no idea what those stick figures are sayin’. Sip your coffee slowly. Once every five minutes or so, shake your head gently and insert a quiet, meaningful chuckle. Make sure you’re not perceived as creepy.

There you go! You’re now part of the coffee-shop ingroup, i.e., calm, collected and intelligent.

Bring a book if your local coffee joint doesn’t allow laptops. Any philosophy book will do but I’d recommend Kant to honour his love of coffee.

No need to fake your IQ score? Then you can ignore my suggestions and just go out for a good cup of coffee at any of the places below.

CORTADO TASTING ROOM

Cortado offers unexpectedly serious coffee making methods (think manual brew) combined with a variety of other café-appropriate beverages, plus a small lunch and baked goods menu. The comfortable, casual interior is laptop friendly and the super early opening time (6 a.m.) makes this a perfect stop for early birds.

DILLY DALLY EATS

The coffee is great, but the food is going to blow your mind at this cute neighbourhood corner café that thrives on community spirit. Chef Ray Henry’s Tiny Kitchen, staffed by young culinarians, serves elevated café fare such as breakfasts, goodness bowls, sandwiches, and weekly features, using locally-sourced ingredients.

JAVA BLEND COFFEE ROASTERS

Java Blend coffee roasters is not only responsible for making a huge section of Robie Street smell like burnt toast, but for bringing a more serious coffee scene to Halifax. This long-standing caffeine institution roasts their own beans and is known for being perpetually busy with locals.

THE OLD APOTHECARY

Decorated in shabby chic shades of pink and teal, this downtown favourite has a solid selection of fresh-baked goods and sweets, like salted caramel brownies, or eclairs that change their flavour weekly. The drip coffee really is drip coffee: their old-fashioned pour-over method is quite beautiful to watch.

THE OTHER BEAN SANDWICH SHOP

Committed to making seriously good sandwiches, this surprisingly cool little café’s menu simply divides the offerings up as “toasted”, “grilled” or “breakfast”. And while, of course, a stellar cup of coffee awaits you at The Other Bean, there’s actually beer on tap and cocktails, too. Sandwich and a beer, anyone?

TWO IF BY SEA CAFÉ

A well-established, bustling café in downtown Dartmouth that earned a following for their range of coffee roasts, and house-made croissants the size of your head. Catch the savoury croissant of the day flavours on their social media. The perfect spot to meet up with that friend you haven’t seen in a while.

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